CHAPEL HILL, NC- A couple sitting on the quad, Thursday, was straight up banging right there in public, according to witnesses. “I mean Jesus it was like 11 am,” said Sierra Carter, a passerby. “I’m like positive they were fucking.”
The couple was reportedly wearing matching sun hats, and did not stop making out for several hours. “They were under a blanket but like, come on,” said Will Roberts, another witness. “They were clearly going at it under there and everyone could tell.”
The couple, who have been “waiting all year for Quad weather,” and have a “little spot” where they like to sit (bang) when the sun comes out, was revealed at press time to be Emily Seever and Charlie Davis. According to Seever, they are happy people can “see their love,” and “people should stop being pussies about it.”
The UNCLE 